The Vids Are Alright

Vampire Weekend - Holiday.

At a party this weekend we were discussing the relative merits of Jane Wiedlin and The Go-Gos. It will come as no surprise to you that my favourite exploit of Jane’s was her definitive role as Joan Of Arc in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, where she put her courage and fencing skills to good use in the cut-throat world of Californian aerobics classes.

I can now reveal secret footage from the never-released third Bill & Ted film, where this time esquires Preston and Logan kidnap a band of Regency fops wielding (wieldlin!) guitars. Having been brought to San Dimas in good faith to see what they think of the delights on offer, said fops proceed to run riot (graffiting walls, beating up surfers, pushing in the queue for the waterslides etc). The twist is that the meddling Macaronis are in fact a twiddly indie band from the East Coast who have failed their English test and must make up for it by collecting random punctuation marks from across time and space.

Just Jack - Embers

Guinness advert meets cliched History textbook! We haven’t had one of these in a while. Jack’s linear chronology contains the usual tropes (dinosaurs, Jebus, Waterloo, World Wars I & II) and logarithmical bias towards recent events but HANG ON what’s that written on the Berlin Wall at 3.16? Dudes, I know he’s big in Germany but the Hoff-worship thing is really getting old.

Taylor Swift - Love Story

You know how in most high school films/telly you only ever see them in English class*, so that the scriptwriters can blatantly thieve whatever plot the kids happen to be studying for their own Very Special Episode ends?

Well, slowcoach Taylor Swift doesn’t even manage to reach her English class before the song starts, and as a result her daydream is a bit er, ‘multi-genre’. Verily, sultry medieval damsel Taylor Swift doth end up gavotting with a C19th Mr Darcy-a-like forthwith. All the historically cromulent time travel used up the budget for the set design but lo! Taylor has pulled some strings at Disney and has not only borrowed a fairytale castle facade (note that the back of the castle is never visible) but a retired unicorn (sans-horn). Good work there Taylor. She still looks well like Delta Goodrem though (prithee wherefore art Bryan ex-Westlife?).

*Except for the excellent Mean Girls, of course, which is purely set in MATHS classes hurray. OK and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air did have a LOT of ‘random cultural studies’ classes where Cameron could embarrass himself fully.