The Vids Are Alright

Pete Lawrie - All That We Keep.

We’ve had a long-overdue hot summer in the UK this year (so far!), and plenty of video makers have taken the opportunity to film outdoor shoots bathed in warm sunlight with delicate wisps of pollen floating slowly past the hipstermatic haloed singer as they brush their hand lightly through a field of perfect corn, not a cowpat or abandoned crisp packet in sight. Maybe it’s just because I’m watching all this indoors on a computer but the lovely balmy countryside feels so dreary and lethargic here, not helped by the presence of all the miserable people that Wheelbarrow Dude walks past. At least if this was a yoghurt advert everyone would be smiling.

However there is one awesome highlight at 2.19 - a horse sniffs another horse’s bum and gets kicked in the face! Hahahahaha! Stupid horse!

Kuunkuiskaajat - Työlki Ellää.

Our first Eurovision video of the year! Two horsey gels are cheerfully mucking out a horse and brewing up a cup of tea to keep out the chill. The horse looks unimpressed when the lasses chuck straw at it but otherwise this is a charming (and snowy) version of My Lovely Horse. Well done Finland. Look out for more Eurovids as and when they appear.

Agnes - I Need You Now.

Agnes is deadly serious about her attempt to break the world land speed record (currently 763 mph): she’s even hired a Native American in traditional garb to test out the salt flats and check whether the conditions are perfect.

But it’s not long before DISASTER STRIKES - Agnes gets some pretty nasty engine trouble at 1.53 and her nearest branch of Kwik-Fit is literally miles away. It could have been worse, at least there are no opportunistic desert bandits waiting to pounce on her, but it looks like she’ll have to bolster her horsepower some other way.

Taylor Swift - Love Story

You know how in most high school films/telly you only ever see them in English class*, so that the scriptwriters can blatantly thieve whatever plot the kids happen to be studying for their own Very Special Episode ends?

Well, slowcoach Taylor Swift doesn’t even manage to reach her English class before the song starts, and as a result her daydream is a bit er, ‘multi-genre’. Verily, sultry medieval damsel Taylor Swift doth end up gavotting with a C19th Mr Darcy-a-like forthwith. All the historically cromulent time travel used up the budget for the set design but lo! Taylor has pulled some strings at Disney and has not only borrowed a fairytale castle facade (note that the back of the castle is never visible) but a retired unicorn (sans-horn). Good work there Taylor. She still looks well like Delta Goodrem though (prithee wherefore art Bryan ex-Westlife?).

*Except for the excellent Mean Girls, of course, which is purely set in MATHS classes hurray. OK and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air did have a LOT of ‘random cultural studies’ classes where Cameron could embarrass himself fully.