Lady Gaga - Born This Way.
Initial thoughts after the first watch: what a bloody mess (much like the song).
- Opening unicorn/pink triangle/Phantom-Zone-contortionism combo (Roll up! Roll up! Geertcher symbolism right here!)
- Eyeball on the chin (not even Gaga Bingo
would have predicted that) which makes me think of this
(and similarly, the mannequin heads on a shelf at 4.41 which remind me of this
- Throne made of crystals nicked from the Fortress of Solitude at 3.17 (shows consistency)
- Pink topknot being whipped, as it were, back and forth (4.15). Also the skull makeup from her German fashion dude is still pretty cool.
- The white gloved ending where her tears bring the pink unicorn triangle back to life (or whatever). Not enough videos feature bubblegum being popped
- Too much waffling on at the start. Long intros worked very well in “Telephone” and “Bad Romance” because there was no tedious narration, just prison guards looking at the internet and harpischord vodka music. SHOW DON’T TELL.
- The early-doors trumpeting of good and evil Gagas disappointingly does not lead to both sides having a catfight (as per “Hold It Against Me”)
- The dancers don’t all start up at once when the boshing bit comes in: although this is more likely a problem with the song’s arrangement, it nevertheless jars really badly. Gaga is also a less good dancer than she thinks she is - Britney may suck at everything except spinning around on the spot these days but to this day I have never seen Gaga do a backward walkover.
- I have no problem with Gaga swanning around in her vest and pants, but the more she does it the less time she has for mental outfits made of sequinned lobsters etc.
- She already did a massive (and reasonably awesome) Madonna homage for “Alejandro”. Why bother doing the “Vogue” zoot suit bit here as well? Is Gaga going to have a visual references in every song that vaguely nods towards Madge?
- Mucus overload (sooo glad I didn’t attempt to watch this at work this afternoon).
- Machine gun Barbarella (machine guns are only acceptable if you are in the Ant Hill Mob or you are Bill Drummond
- I know Gaga is a hard-working lass and all, but there is healthy exercise and there is making yourself look bonier than you are with mental cheek/shoulder implants. It’s one step away from having rickets
(NB not Adam Rickett).
- Mid-forehead fringe. Aieee!
- At no point does anyone make a sandwich :(