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This blog is about music videos. If you want to know what I think of the songs, you can find my exciting and witty opinions at The Singles Jukebox.

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Enya - Orinoco Flow.

Popular has reached one of my favourite Number Ones of 1988, the glorious “Orinoco Flow”. Ireland’s most recogniseable Elven Chanting export paved the way for all the new age dolphin Aquarian crystal videos that would clog up the early 90s Chart Show - or did she? Actually the video to “Orinoco Flow” is a lovely piece of classically beautiful hand-painted animation. Well ok it was probably some Amiga software but the way Enya’s dress scratches itself into a new position trips a switch in my gut and makes me say ‘szwwaaaaah’ in a tiny voice. That and the ship bobbing up and down which makes me think of marathon runners wafting effortlessly around the Cutty Sark to Ron Goodwin’s "The Trap".

In retrospect a lot of the New Age mysticism I associated with ambient hippy music like Enya seemed very passive - waiting for aliens to descend, letting auras wash over you, accepting your fate that was written in the star sign column of Just Seventeen. “Orinoco Flow” on the other hand is stirring and inspiring and makes me want to sail away on a tall ship with beautiful Enya on the prow. It is a New Age because we are going somewhere different and exciting over the waves! I will discover some uninhabited island near the Falklands for the glory of humankind, find a new species of hummingbird and then commission someone to do a painting of it all for the Tate once I get home.

FROM THE FACT BIN: Director Michael Geoghegan also did a strange bunch of Britpop promos: football montage-tastic “Life Of Riley”, Republica’s seizure-inducing “Ready To Go” and er, Kula Shaker’s “Govinda”. And “Blame It On The Weatherman”!

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George Michael - December Song (I Dreamed Of Christmas).

Poor little Timmy’s dad isn’t coming home this year (or ANY year if the heartbreaking phonecall his mum receives is anything to go by), so to forget about his yuletide misery he climbs through the telly to a magical land where all the banned energy-inefficient lightbulbs and CRT tellys have gone to die (maybe his dad died of climate change and this is a horrible subconscious manifestation of Timmy’s GUILT at leaving the Wii on standby all night?). Then he has to wake up and realises it’s Christmas Day and everything’s STILL SHIT.

i.e. BWAAAAAAAA :( *sobs into keyboard* This is 1000x more heartbreaking than Stacey off X Factor gurning a ballad to sick children.

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The Rapture - House Of Jealous Lovers.

Best of 2002: I didn’t even know there was a video for this track until last week, let alone one featuring a giant skeleton duck rampaging through the streets of New York (and doing a shit down a chimney whilst being fired on by a tank). Not even Superted with his brand new kung-fu skills can halt its destructive progress.

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Raekwon & co - House Of Flying Daggers.

It’s been oooh, at least a week since I posted an animated video filled with violence and gore. But this one has Ghostface Killah’s cheeky face in it! Awwww isn’t he sweet, bashing the blood and guts out of some anonymous ninja cadavers. Meanwhile the remaining Wu lads finally get to realise their dreams of becoming Power Rangers. Avoid if you don’t fancy getting cartoon brains all over your monitor, otherwise well worth a watch.

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The Nextmen ft Ms Dynamite - Break You Down.

Ms Dynamite leads a crack squad of animated ninjas in a rooftop fight against some samurais and a robot minotaur (!), and (as far as I know) uses some actual dynamite for the first time in her music video career! The team’s efforts are rewarded with some takeaway Pukka Pies and plenty of chips. Absolutely brilliant.

(h/t @lexpretend)

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Rex The Dog - Bubblicious

This is AWESOME. This may in fact be my favourite stop-motion video since this. Rex drinks too much fizzy pop then does a sick!
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