The Vids Are Alright


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This blog is about music videos. If you want to know what I think of the songs, you can find my exciting and witty opinions at The Singles Jukebox.





Dilara Kazimova - Start A Fire (Azerbaijan)

Azerbaijan on the other hand, have little to prove other than that their buildings are definitely taller than Armenia’s. A string of good results in the last few years mean that if they wanted to, they could definitely afford a wind machine instead of having to use the rehearsal room photocopier on max speed to make it look as windy indoors as it is up on their very tall buildings. They just don’t want to show off. We understand.

Anyway, Dilara makes a good fist of this surprisingly* complex ballad, just staying on the right side of nasal, selling the anecdotes in the verse and building up nicely for the climax. The heavy piano-plinking in the orchestration does (inevitably) remind me of the last 10 seconds of this, though.

*Surprising for Eurovision, I mean. I don’t want to cast aspersions on the simplicity of Dilara’s back catalogue without evening hearing it.

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Aram MP3 - Not Alone (Armenia)

Aram here didn’t just appear on Armenian X Factor, he presented it! He’s also a comedian but there’s not many lolz here, it’s Srs Bsns all the way. Basically Armenia are Very Keen to win Eurovision and show that they’re just as good as Azerbaijan (hmm).

Visual clues that this is the case:
- it’s raining (at night, no less)
- there are Strong Emotions occurring, clearly it’s the dude’s fault not the girl’s, you’re better off without him my duck etc
- Aram is being kept well quarantined from the star-crossed couple (I predict some interpretive dance happening in the background for the live performance)
- leather jacket

Certainly finalist material, wouldn’t you say? The only aspect I’m worried about is that they’ve chosen to have the symbolic Intertwined Hearts motif manifest as a car air-freshener. Eurovision can spark many different Proustian rushes but ‘minicab driver dozing off at traffic lights at 4am’ is probably not an ideal one if you are aiming to win.

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Donatan & Cleo - My Słowianie (Poland)

It’s that time again! Over the next couple of months The Vids Are Alright will be strapping on its wellies and wading through the several thousand square miles of Pripyat marshland that are 2014’s Eurovision entries.

To kick us off here’s Poland, who are back!Back!BACK! after a couple of years in Euro-hibernation. Donatan (the silent dude with the accordion) and Cleo (who, of course, was on Polish X Factor in 2011) are keen to show off their homeland’s rich cultural heritage. As such they’ve rounded up the local historical re-enactment society* for this Benassi-inspired video.

The gist of the song is about how awesome Slavic girls are, and as you can see, these ones are extremely talented. Churning butter is harder than it looks! As you might have guessed the lyrics are meant to be satirical and it’s actually all about female empowerment blah blah blah, but it still has Male Gaze issues if you ask me (no-one has asked me). Thankfully the tune itself sounds like something Beyonce would sample (sparse thuds with lots of clapping and shouting), so that’s a few feminist points regained. It’s sorely missing a bassline though.

Tourist Board Trumps: Educational AND 90% of participants in national costume!
How will it do: Depends on the staging/Cleo’s vocal on the night, but a reasonable chance of making the final.

*Honestly! It’s filmed in the Ciechanowiec Museum of Agriculture.

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Gala - “Freed From Desire” (1996). Kept at #2 by Puffy. thevidsarealright has done a POLL about it.



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Westlife - Fool Again (Watch on Youtube)

Grumpy Other Half is doing his best to distract me from tackling this particular post by singing ‘Can’t believe that I have done a poo, and poo is all I know how to do, ‘cos I am made of poo’. I have reminded him that this isn’t a blog about Boyzone, to no avail.

Indeed, I genuinely remember liking ‘Fool Again’ the first time I heard it! Which admittedly was probably around 2007, aka MumPop Year Zero, after I’d got over my initial Westlife prejudices. Let’s see if it holds up.

We’re on location in Parts Foreign for this video, as signified by a man in a stripey top on a bicycle and a flag on a flagpole.

 photo fool-italy_zpsf5770904.jpg
Arriverderchi it’s one on one

Hmm. At first I thought this was Italy but the colour saturation is so bad that it might be Ireland or even France. I believe both Ireland and France both have plenty of bicycles, but then so does Dalston Junction. It’s definitely not Dalston Junction.

ANYWAY do not be afeared of these unfamiliar environs, for our friendly pan-flutes are present and correct (as is the Disney twinkly winkle) to greet the Wezzas after their long arduous journey.

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One of these hairstyles is not like the others

But hang on, I only count four Loifes in that fake-looking car. Where’s Lead Westlife?

(Read on!)

My Westlife blog is slowly (very slowly) turning into Fashion It So and I care not a jot.

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Showtek ft We Are Loud & Sonny Wilson - Booyah

It is not a coincidence that most of my favourite tunes this year sound like they were written by Major Lazer (because ALL tunes this year were written by Major Lazer, of course!) but admittedly this has too many slow bits to be 100% banging. However I love the electro-fart noise SO MUCH when it finally turns up. ERR-ERR-ERR-ERR-ERR-ERR-ERR! Beans for tea again!

The main reason I am posting this video though is due to its encapsulation of the overriding theme of 2013 viz GETTING THE TUBE WRONG. “Booyah” joins Thor 2: Thorny Issues, Sherlock: Tumblry Whatevs and Skyfall: This Was 2012 Actually Wasn’t It in willfully misjudging how precious Londoners are concerning tube map accuracy, by sending the Metropolitan line all the way up to Finsbury Park. Somewhere the ghost of Harry Beck is shedding a spectral tear.

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Snoop Lion ft Rita Ora - Torn Apart

Snoop Lion’s Reincarnated is my favourite album of 2013! It is (like all other records) a Major Lazer record, with tons of King Tubby style sunshine dub and Snoop Lion being silly over the top. I could have picked “Fruit Juice" (number one you can’t lose) or "Here Comes The King" (we just smoke ‘em like papers), but Rita Ora’s bit on "Torn Apart" is great fun to sing along with and reminds me most of when it was actually sunny and warm in the UK this year. Like, for most of Glastonbury! I KNOW. Rita’s Glasto set was proper good - much like Major Lazer’s set, she did all the hits PLUS snippets of approx 900 random tunes by other people from the last three decades. Well done everyone.

The video’s fairly straightforward: Rita and Snoop have a quick flashback to the Good Ole Days (in black and white), then it’s present day elephants and beaches and swimming pools in… Thailand?? Wherever it is, it looks nice, although I am concerned Rita will never break her 100m butterfly PB in that particular swimming cossie.

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Julia Holter - Horns Surrounding Me

I went to see this excellent Waily Woman™ play a gig at Village Underground, where I’d also been to a wedding a few months previous. I nearly fainted! (At the gig, not the wedding.)

Anyway, most of Julia’s album sounds like a very precise witch has cast a flotation tank spell on you (especially Maxim’s I, which I would have posted here instead if it had a proper video). Roll a 3 to escape down the alley or roll a 6 to rescue the wheezy penguin stuck in her keyboard.

The video above is very Twin Peaks-ish: strobe lights, broken glass in a fireplace, people sitting still in a hotel, creepy shit going down in the woods but it’s too dark to tell exactly what’s going on, people turning into doorknobs etc.

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Quadron - Hey Love

MORE HUMMING, but what a tune! Piano banging, a belter of a chorus, great choreography. I think this must have disappeared from Spotify at some point because I swear I added it to my 2013 playlist and now it has VANISHED. I guess this has meant I haven’t overplayed it and got sick of it?

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