NEEDS VOTES. This Pop World Cup match - which I don’t think I’ve linked here - needs your love and voting attention. It is slightly harder going than previous games - which might be why it’s languishing in the votes - but there’s plenty here to reward your attention (or alternatively make you go “blimey that oscillator is a bit much”).
GUESS WHO has picked the nosebleed techno for this round?
As is tradition, here’s a quick rundown of the entries without videos (that I can find on Youtube):
ESTONIA: Birgit Õigemeel - Et uus saaks alguse (Estonia)
Basically a LeAnn Rimes early-2000s-production-style rock ballad that’s a leeeettle bit country. It will surprise you ZERO AMOUNTS that Birgit won Estonian Idol in 2007. I have no idea how this beat Winnie Puuh (well yes I do, because Song For Estonia used a complicated combination of jury-and-televote to ensure something non-mental got through).
DENMARK: Emmelie de Forest - Only Teardrops
Not more bloody tin whistle and drums, it’s almost as Irish as Spain’s entry! Lass isn’t wearing any shoes and has a little breathiness to her vocal. It’s catchy and I don’t like it and it will probably win.
ISRAEL: Moran Mazor - Rak Bishvilo
Fabulously serious young girl with bouffant hair, hipster specs and a Kappa tracksuit dress thing that shows off her boobs in an alarming fashion. It’s a ballad. With BELLS. And KEYCHANGES. It’s TERRIBLE and AMAZING.
MOLDOVA: Aliona Moon - O Mie
Aliona has some stunning facial architecture going on, and her dress has stuff projected on it. She belts the (reasonably interesting) ballad while standing very still to enable this. Above average for Moldova.
SERBIA: Moje 3 - Ljubav Je Svuda
A sassy girlgroup in the style of Stooshe (one’s an angel, one’s a devil, one’s… normal?) The song is enjoyable enough if you like Natasha Bedingfield but they are kind of singing it out of tune, which is a shame as I would like to go to the pub with these three and cackle about nonsense until 3am.
LITHUANIA: Andrius Pojavis - Something
Imagine if Daniel Bedingfield (can you tell I miss the Bedingfields?) didn’t actually know how to sing. As in, couldn’t actually use a microphone or hold a note. Excruciating.
AZERBAIJAN: Farid Mammadov - Hold Me
Will Young would never roll his sleeves up so awfully or ham up that chorus so badly. He would probably approve of the minor key and rocking middle 8 though. If Farid pulls it off on the night then I judge this is likely to give Azerbaijan another top 5 placing.
BULGARIA: Elitsa & Stoyan - Samo Shampioni
Remember how Eurovision went through a phase of everyone banging massive drum kits all the time about ten years ago? Well Bulgaria are still banging them, but this time with a very limp dubstep breakdown in the middle. There is an excellent fan video however, of various Bulgarian sporting legends — mostly weightlifters — which is rather compelling.
That just leaves Sweden, France and Germany (none of whom are in the semis and so I left till last, well planned out there me) which I’ll look at… at some point?